à la ville de Douarnenez
du côté de la côte
(记录于去年十月)
重看了《脸庞，村庄》结尾。戈达尔那段我狠狠被创。六年前我没有去想，也想不明白。很多人说是戈达尔故意破坏此片的叙事结构，一如他当年。JR片中说，可能是告诉瓦尔达大家各自继续创作，或许有天彼此作品还会彼此交汇，以一种意想不到的方式。这都当然不对。
戈达尔为什么不开门？困惑是因为JR年轻，我们也太年轻。六年后，我读到了Gore Vidal老年时在回忆录里写下的文字。
Vidal: As I say no to dinner, I wonder if I am a bad friend. The princess and I have known each other for exactly thirty years. She has been here; I have stayed with her at Windsor. But in the last few years neither has made an effort to see the other; for some reason I am relieved not to see most people, even those I like—or once liked. I understand now why the old enjoy the obituaries of contemporaries. I used to put this down to play-acting in the face of memento mori; now I think it is a sense of relief in letting go for good of people whose presence one no longer needs. I recall something Santayana said as he led me into his cell at the convent. “As you see, I live as if I were already dead.”
又及，“要是有些事我没说，地坛，你别以为是我忘了，我什么也没忘，但是有些事只适合收藏。不能说，也不能想，却又不能忘。它们不能变成语言，它们无法变成语言，一旦变成语言就不再是它们了。它们是一片朦胧的温馨与寂寥，是一片成熟的希望与绝望，它们的领地只有两处：心与坟墓。比如说邮票，有些是用于寄信的，有些仅仅是为了收藏。”
大概Vidal和史铁生这两段合在一起，就是为什么。
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