电影像是童话,我知道我的生活永远不会像那样。
不知道许多年后,我会不会回忆起今天。我和一个男人走进这家电影院,看了这个圣诞电影。而我刚刚结束两段暧昧关系,一段无疾而终的单恋。
我们撒谎,我骗他自己有一位相恋三年的男友,他骗我自己没有和女友订婚。
电影结束以后,他没有起身,问我电影感觉如何。我说我看过电影梗概,所以大致看懂了,除了一些金句没能看懂。他问我是什么句子。我打开豆瓣,搜索出了一个截图。他大概看了一眼,但我不知道他能不能看懂中文字幕。从电影院出来我们吹了会冷风。我以为他会像上次一样帮我搜索回家的路线,但他没有,所以我们多绕了一圈。时间太晚了,地铁已经停运,于是我们站在路边等车。他问我为什么在他中途离场后不见了。我敷衍回答,他追问到底。我后知后觉,也许他去洗手间是为了回女友的电话。上车后,我回头看了一眼他。他站在原地向我招手。
车子启动了,我打开手机,屏幕上还是那几句台词:
I understand feeling as small
and as insignificant as humanly possible,
我了解那种渺小又微不足道的感受
and how it can actually ache in places
that you didn't know you had inside you,
就算遍体鳞伤也要故作坚强
and it doesn't matter
how many new haircuts you get
不管换了几个新发型
or gyms you join or how many glasses of
chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends,
或是去健身或是和姊妹淘喝白酒
you still go to bed every night
going over every detail,
日日夜夜都仍在回想着每个细节
and wonder what you did wrong
or how you could have misunderstood.
纳闷自己到底哪里错了,哪里误解了
And how in the hell, for that brief moment,
you could think that you were that happy?
最后自问怎么会把短暂的欢愉
错当成永久的快乐
And sometimes you can even
convince yourself that he'll see the light
有时候会说服自己
and show up at your door.
他会想清楚回来的
And after all that,
however long all that may be,
经历过这一切后
you'll go somewhere new
人还是会重新开始
and you'll meet people
who make you feel worthwhile again,
再遇到值得付出的人
and little pieces of your soul
will finally come back.
然后一点一点地重拾自信
And all that fuzzy stuff,
而那些模糊的回忆
those years of your life that you wasted,
那么多年浪费掉的人生
that will eventually begin to fade.
终究会开始消逝
因为你祈求上苍是自己弄错了
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