...從畢業後，就每天過着與焦慮不安相伴的日子，輾轉于很多城市忙忙碌碌。皮囊的漂泊，靈魂的流浪，似乎成了無奈之舉的常态，因為我找不到自己的歸屬。
有時我也常常反思，我所做的一切，是為了什麼？答案卻發現，自己更多的時候在追求物質的滿足與欲望，勞心勞力的過程卻讓自己的靈魂疲憊不堪，郁郁寡歡。
如果可以重啟2020，于人間所有的一切都是體驗，所有的一切都是幻象。 昨天看到B站今年的跨年夜宣傳視頻中所說“ 隻要你願意，生活依舊可以明淨純潔。”
音樂讓藝術保持心靈的柔軟，這種柔軟恰恰能夠對抗現實的堅硬。你内在是一個怎樣的能量場域，你就會創造外在的怎樣的實相。
其實，所有的人不論是怎樣的場域，都要清楚一點，我們沒有辦法去占有任何物質或金錢，就算用盡全部力氣，你也隻能去嘗試着和它有建立一個适當的關系，然後去體驗它帶給你生活的變化。這個世界的溫柔與殘酷，隻能自己把握。
我曾是一個單身七年拒絕所有戀愛的人。後來我的一位哈薩克斯坦好朋友Renee 和我在徹夜長談中說: “ Elina 你需要改變現在的心态，去接受你當下的生活，不要因為害怕失去而放棄你應該享受的。因為所有人，哪怕是我們的至親，父母、愛人、孩子都會離開你，離開這個世界。所以，沒有人或某個實相是真正屬于對方的。”
在異國他鄉時，他曾談過一個數年的美國女朋友，他深愛着她，後來女孩回國了，他惦念至今。我問: “ 那你在這段感情裡有被傷害嗎？ ” 他回答: “ 很傷心，但如果你愛她，就應該讓她走，讓她擁抱新的開始與幸福。” 正如鋼琴師遇上那個另他第一次心動的女孩，他們笑着說再見，卻深知再見遙遙無期。
試想一下，就算當我們得到了無數自己想要的東西的時候，我們還是會不斷追尋新的欲望和滿足，那一刻，我們的内心是否又獲得了真正的平靜與喜悅？努力追尋的意義是為了幸福而自由的生活，切勿本末倒置。又一朋友言“ 戀愛有時隻是換了一種方式在孤獨。”
我們常常把幸福理解為在外物質的“ 擁有 ” ，卻忘了關照内在心靈的 “ 清靜 ” 。天才鋼琴師1900之所以被稱之為海上傳奇，皆因他的演奏水準臻自靈性，流入化境，歸根結底還是源于他保留了一顆從未被世俗沾染而追名逐利的純淨心靈。音樂藝術本就是以耳聆聽，用心感受。生于船上，終于大海，琴音相伴，孜然獨身，那麼一生至愛，何謂得所？
所以在活着的時候，找到一個讓自己感到舒适的位置明心見性至關重要，這是你于人間的旅行驿站。煩惱與我執常來自于人性本源的貪嗔癡，但我們要知道，身體會消亡，意識卻不滅。
當我們為空相所困頓的時候，我們究竟在追求的是什麼？我從哪裡來？我的人生将選擇去哪兒？我的靈魂終将回到何方？是我們每個人都需要思考的終極命題。
最後，Less is more， simple is best.
願我們每個人都能找到心靈的歸屬，歲月靜好，怡然自得。
...???? 經典台詞 :
1. 陸上的人喜歡尋根問底，虛度了大好光陰。冬天憂慮夏天的姗姗來遲，夏天則擔心冬天的将至。所以他們不停四處遊走，追求一個遙不可及、四季如夏的地方—我并不羨慕。
2. 你明白麼？我看不見的那些。在那個無限蔓延的城市裡，什麼東西都有，可惟獨沒有盡頭。根本就沒有盡頭。我看不見的是這一切的盡頭，世界的盡頭。
...........................3. Forgive me, my friend, but I’m not getting off. 朋友，原諒我，我不下船了。
4. 陸地？陸地對我來說是一艘太大的船，一個太漂亮的女人，一段太長的旅行，一瓶太刺鼻的香水，一種我不會創作的音樂。
5. 拿一部鋼琴來說，從琴鍵開始，又結束。你知道鋼琴隻有88個鍵，随便什麼琴都沒差。它們不是無限的，你才是無限的，在琴鍵上制作出的音樂是無限的。我喜歡這樣，我活的慣。
6. 我是在這艘船上出生的，整個世界跟我并肩而行，但是，行走一次隻攜帶兩千人。這裡也有欲望，但不會虛妄到超出船頭和船尾。你用鋼琴表達你的快樂，但音符不是無限的。我已經習慣這麼生活。
7. 太多的選擇，太複雜的判斷，精神會崩潰的。
8. 我永遠無法放棄這艘船，不過幸好，我可以放棄我的生命。反正沒人記得我存在過，而你是例外，max,你是唯一一個知道我在這裡的人。你是唯一一個，而且你最好習慣如此。原諒我，朋友，我不會下船的。
9. 所有那些城市，你就是無法看見盡頭，盡頭？拜托！拜托你給我看它的盡頭在哪？當時，站在舷梯向外看還好，我那時穿着大衣，感覺也很棒，覺得自己前途無量，然後我就要下船去，放心！完全沒問題！可是，阻止了我的腳步的，并不是我所看見的東西，而是我所無法看見的那些東西。
1. All that city you just couldn't see an end to it.
城市那麼大，看不到盡頭。
2. The end? Please? Can you please just show me where it ends?
盡頭在哪裡？可以給我看看盡頭麼？
3. It was all very final on that gangway and I was grant too in my over coat. I cut quite a figure, and I was getting off, guaranteed. That wasn't the problem.
當年，我踏上跳闆，不覺得困難。我穿上大衣，很神氣，自覺一表人才，有決心，有把握，有信心。
4. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max, it was what I didn't see. Do you understand that? What I didn't see.
阻止了我的腳步的，并不是我所看見的東西，而是我所無法看見的那些東西。
5. In all that sprawling city, there was everything except an end. There was no end.
連綿不絕的城市，什麼都有，除了盡頭，沒有盡頭。
6. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end, the end of the world.
我看不見城市的盡頭，我需要看見世界盡頭。
7. Take a piano, hmm? The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are 88 of them. Nobody can tell you different. They are not infinite
拿鋼琴來說，鍵盤有始也有終。有88個鍵，錯不了，并不是無限的。
8. You are infinite. And on those keys, the music that you can make is infinite.
音樂是無限的。在琴鍵上，奏出無限的音樂。
9. I like that. That I can live by.
我喜歡那樣，我應付得來。
10. You get me up on that gangway and you rill out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, Millions and billions of keys that never end.
走過跳闆，前面的鍵盤有無數的琴鍵。
11、That's the truth, Max, they never end. That keyboard is infinite.
事實如此，無窮無盡，鍵盤無限大。
12、And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play.
無限大的鍵盤，怎奏得出音樂？
13、You are sitting on the wrong bench. That's God's piano.
不是給凡人奏得，是給上帝奏得。
14、Christ! Did you see the streets? Just the street-----there were thousands of them.
唉！隻是街道，已經好幾千條。
15、How do you do it down there? How do you choose just one?
上了岸，何去何從？
16、One woman, one house, one piece of land to call your own, one landscape to look at, one way to die. All that world just weighing down on you. You don't even know where it comes to an end.
愛一個女人，住一間屋子，買一塊地，望一個景，走一條死路。太多選擇，我無所适從，漫無止境，茫茫無際。
17、Aren't you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? The enormity of it.
思前想後，你不怕精神崩潰？那樣的日子怎麼過？
18、I was born on this ship, and the world passed me by. But 2000 people at a time, and there were wishes here. But never more than fit between prow and stern.
我生于船，長與船，世界千變萬化這艘船每次隻載客兩千，既載人，有載夢想。但範圍離不開船頭與船尾之間。
21、You played put your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite! I learned to live that way.
在有限的鋼琴上，我自得其樂，我過慣那樣的日子。
22、Land?Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful, it's avoyage too long, a perfume too strong, it's music I don't know how tomake.
陸地？對我來說，陸地是艘太大的船，是位太美的美女。是條太長的航程，是瓶太香的香水，是篇無從彈奏得樂章。
23、I can never get off this ship. I'm blessed I can step off my life.
我沒法舍棄這艘船，我甯可舍棄自己的生命。
24、After all, I don't exist for anyone.
反正，世間每人記得我。
25、You are the exception, Max. You are the only one who knows I'm here. You are a minority, and you'd better get used of it.
除了你，Max,隻有你知道我在這裡，你屬于少數，你最好習慣一下。
26、Forgive me, my friend, but I'm not getting off.
朋友，原諒我。我不下船了。
27、Hey,Max! Imagine the music I could play with two right arms. Hope I can find a piano up there.
兩條右臂能談出什麼音樂？ 希望天堂有鋼琴。
28、Why why why why why... I think land people waste a lot of time wondering why. Winter comes they can't wait for summer; summer comes they're living dread of winter. That's why you're never tired of travelling, with chasing some place far away, where there's always summer. That doesn't sound like a good bet to me.
陸上的人喜歡尋根問底，虛度了大好光陰。冬天憂慮夏天的姗姗來遲，夏天則擔心冬天的将至。所以他們不停四處遊走，追求一個遙不可及、四季如夏的地方—我并不羨慕。
29、所有那些城市，你就是無法看見盡頭。盡頭？拜托！拜托你給我看它的盡頭在哪？當時，站在舷梯向外看還好。我那時穿着大衣，感覺也很棒，覺得自己前途無量，然後我就要下船去。放心！完全沒問題！可是，阻止了我的腳步的，并不是我所看見的東西，而是我所無法看見的那些東西。你明白麼？我看不見的那些。在那個無限蔓延的城市裡，什麼東西都有，可惟獨沒有盡頭。根本就沒有盡頭。我看不見的是這一切的盡頭，世界的盡頭。
“All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends? It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. There was no problem. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. The end of the world... ”
30、“鍵盤有始有終，你确切知道 88 個鍵就在那兒，錯不了。它并不是無限的，而音樂，才是無限的。你能在鍵盤上表現的音樂是無限的，我喜歡這樣，我能輕松應對。 ! ”
“Take a piano. The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are eightyeight of them, nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on these keys the music that you can make is infinite. I like that. That I can live by. ”
31、“你把我推到舷梯上然後扔給我一架有百萬琴鍵的鋼琴，百萬千萬的沒有盡頭的琴鍵，那是事實，max，它們沒有盡頭。那鍵盤是無限延伸的。然而如果琴鍵是無限的，那麼在那架琴上就沒有你能彈奏的音樂，你坐錯了地方，那是上帝的鋼琴。”
“You get me up on that gangway and you're rolling out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that's the truth, Max. That they never end. That keyboard is infinite. And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no
music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench. That's God's piano. ”
32、“天啊！你……你看過那些街道嗎？僅僅是街道，就有上千條！你下去該怎麼辦？你怎麼選擇其中一條來走？怎麼選擇“屬于你自己的”一個女人，一棟房子，一塊地，或者選擇一道風景欣賞，選擇一種方法死去。 ”
“Christ! Did, did you see the streets? Just the streets… There were thousands of them! And how do you do it down there？How do you choose just one? One woman, one house, one piece of land to call your own, one landscape to look at, one way to die... ”
33、“那個世界好重，壓在我身上。你甚至不知道它在哪裡結束，你難道從來不為自己生活在無窮選擇裡而害怕得快崩潰掉嗎？”
“All that world is weighing down on me, you don't even know where it comes to an end, and aren't you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? The enormity of living it? ”
34、“我是在這艘船上出生的，整個世界跟我并肩而行，但是，行走一次隻攜帶兩千人。這裡也有欲望，但不會虛妄到超出船頭和船尾。你用鋼琴表達你的快樂，但音符不是無限的。我已經習慣這麼生活。”
“I was born on this ship, and the world passed me by, but two thousand people at a time. And there were wishes here,but never more than fit between prow and stern. You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite. I learned to live that way. ”
35、“陸地？陸地對我來說是一艘太大的船，一個太漂亮的女人，一段太長的旅行，一瓶太刺鼻的香水，一種我不會創作的音樂。我永遠無法放棄這艘船，不過幸好，我可以放棄我的生命。反正沒人記得我存在過，而你是例外，max，你是唯一一個知道我在這裡的人。你是唯一一個，而且你最
好習慣如此。原諒我，朋友，我不會下船的。”
“Land? Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful; it's a voyage too long, a perfume too strong. It's a music I don't know how to make. I could never get off this ship. At best, I can step off my life. After all, I don't exist for anyone. You're an exception, Max, you're the only one who knows I'm here. You're a minority, and you better get used to it. Forgive me, my friend, but I'm not getting off.”
我已經與這個世界擦肩而過了。
——吉賽貝·托納多雷
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