这两天网络上都在传抓奸小三的视频，两个人的私事难堪地公之于众。甚至有妻子开车冲进河里，夫妇同归于尽的惨剧。偶然在此时看了《希望沟壑》Hope Gap这部电影，感人至深，两相对比，没有对错，只是不同的选择，令人感慨。
影片算得上半部婚姻恐怖片，恐怖在于相同的主题：爱情和婚姻如浮云，说来就来，说走就走，甜蜜缠绵转眼变成背弃憎厌，凉薄决绝。但是它比完全的、让人凉彻心骨的婚姻恐怖片，如《45周年》、消失的爱人，让人产生45年假爱的怀疑，报复、视为仇敌，又截然相反，影片明亮而开阔，如片中大量航拍镜头下的大海和海边的希望沟壑美景。
影片取自导演父母的真人真事，一对结婚29年的夫妻，突然有一天丈夫说我不再爱你了，我爱上了别人，说完立刻转身离家。妻子该如何反应？难以置信、痛苦、失落、痛恨……常人该有的千般感受都有，甚至想寻死。儿子也很受伤心痛，夹在父母之间，花时间陪伴母亲，希望她能面对接受，早日走出。倾听父亲的心声，无奈接受他的另有所爱，只能指责父亲欺骗，没有早日了断和告知。
诗歌贯穿了整部电影，是女主的一生爱好，为她赢来了爱情，也帮助她走出了失婚，为影片增加不少韵味。影片开头，女主就在兴致勃勃地念诗：
An Irish Airman Foresees His Death
I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight I do not hate,
Those that I guard I do not love;
My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.
William Butler Yeats
父亲告诉儿子，当年二人火车上初次相遇，你的母亲洞悉了我丧亲的忧伤，朗诵了一首亨利.金写给死去妻子的诗给爱德华以安抚，并由此成就了彼此的姻缘。
Stay for me there 为我守候
I will not fail to meet thee in that hollow veil 冥冥之中，与汝再见
And think not much of my delay 倘我来迟，请勿所思
I am already on the way 我已在途
爱情和婚姻以诗开头，以诗结束。开始的时候，“她为什么那么懂得我的感受？”，“她光彩炫目”，是的，两人相爱，但遗憾的是，强势的女方逐渐把男方推开，两人的心门逐渐关闭，渐行渐远，最终是离去。父亲一直跟儿子强调，爱过，但现在不爱了，不再。爱情有花开的时候，也得承认有花谢的时候；曾经双双幸而沉浸在灿烂娇傲的花丛中，馨香四溢；加上儿子，一家三口手拉手一起玩荡秋千的游戏，其乐融融。然而眼前只有残花落泥，凋零枯萎，只得咀嚼和接受。
儿子在帮助老妈早日move on 的过程中起了很大的作用，看着妈妈在Hope Gap徘徊，有跳崖自杀的念头，他无奈地说，if you want die，tell me first，i just wanna say goodbye before your suicide。i will never ask you to live for me.casue i know how hard it is when you lost hope to live.母子俩拥抱在一起，痛苦达到顶点，也在走向消融。
渐渐地妻子走了出来，她养了条狗，做义工，恢复自己诗歌选集的编选。有一天去到丈夫的新家，三个人终于站在一起面对面，小三理直气壮地说，曾经有三个人不快乐，现在只有一个人不快乐了。妻子淡然说，“好的，我知道了。”转身离去，开车畅行在笔直的海边大道上，脸上浮现微笑，阳光明亮。
妻子的诗歌选集用“Hope”索引，结果是这样的：
Grace’s anthology - I have been here before
Results for ‘Hope’
Say Not The Struggle Nought Availeth by Arthur Hugh Clough
Say not the struggle noyght availeth,
The labour and the wounds are vain,
The enemy faints not, nor faileth,
And as things have been they remain.
If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars;
It may be, in yon smoke concealed,
Your comrades chase e’en now the fliers,
And, but for you, possess the field.
For while the tired waves, vainly breaking
Seem here no painful inch to gain,
Far back through creeks and inlets making,
Comes silent, flooding in, the main.
And not by eastern windows only,
When daylight comes, comes in the light,
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly,
But westward, look, the land is bright.
最后儿子致父母的独白也感人至深：
I begin by thinking I could save you but in the end all I can do is honour you.
My mother, first among women, my warmth and my comfort,
My safety, my pride, you are the one I want to please.
You are the one I want to applaud me
My father, first among men, my teacher and my judge. The man,
I know I will become
You grow older now
You’ll still ahead of me as you’ll always be, forever
Further down the road
Forgive me for needing you to be strong forever
Forgive me for fearing your unhappiness
As you suffer, so I shall suffer
As you endure, as I shall endure
Hold my hand and walk the old walk one last time
Then let me go
是啊，还有自己，还有懂事的儿子，还有希望，这就足够了！
影片细节刻画很到位，父子俩如出一辙的泡茶时用勺压一下；有的地方还很有趣，比如妻子离婚后，养了一只和前夫一样名字的狗狗，训练让狗狗装死。
一家三口，三个演员都是戏骨，在一起飚戏很是精彩。演父亲的Bill Nighty在《真爱至上》里演过气的摇滚歌手，边看边出戏，想起他摇头晃脑边唱边舞的样子。演儿子的Josh O’Connor在《雷尼尔一家》也演大儿子，他在雷一家总是眯眼坏笑，片中也有似曾相识的笑容，差点出戏，当然演技也很在线。贝宁演的强势妻子，在遭遇巨大变故后，心绪复杂难过，演员的表演收放自如，从开始对她霸气的不适转为同情理解，很精彩。
看完，只涌上木心的一句话：“不知原谅什么，诚觉世事尽可原谅。”
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